I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always do what I should, and that I sometimes do what I shouldn’t. Yeah, I do things that I’m not exactly proud of, beyond commenting on ridiculous cat memes on Facebook while at work or popping blackheads and blisters when I’m alone… (there, I said it!). Though I know that these silly indulgences are the case with everyone in some way, there are certain guilty pleasures that I partake in more than I ought to that would be thoroughly embarrassing if people I know found out. But thanks to the (semi) anonymity of the internet, I can let it all hang out (after all, they say that the first step towards recovery is admitting that there is a problem)… right?
Though some of my sins are graver than others, without further preface or introduction, and in no particular order, I present my list of my top five guilty pleasures:
- Über Cheesy Pop Music – Yes, I have more than just a few songs hidden on my iPod from Britney, Christina, the Spice Girls, Ashlee Simpson, and even the only hit that Paris Hilton came out with (“Stars are Blind”). Yes, I know all the words. Yes, I boogie down to them on occasion when I am alone at home, away from prying eyes. Yes, I’m sure that even my middle school students would judge me. What can I say? I simply can’t help it. When I want to relive my high school glory days for just a few minutes, familiar sacchariney-sweet tunes with overly clichéd lyrics and catchy beats is the way to go for me.
- (Over) Indulging in Food – It’s not just what I eat (gobs of peanut butter, burgers washed down by liters of diet cola, doughy empanadas) or when I eat (leftover sushi or cold pizza for breakfast, anyone?), but also how I eat (straight from the bottle, spoon directly from the jar, fried, oversalted, thoroughly drowned in ketchup). Needless to say, I am still in the process of getting back on the skinny horse. My dentist isn’t exactly thrilled, either.
- Trashy Talk/Reality Shows – Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Maury Povich, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Steve Wilkos, and Toddlers and Tiaras are some my tried and true favorites to name a few. When they were still on the air, I also used to watch “Flavor of Love,” “I Love New York,” “A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila,” “Rock of Love,” and all the rest of the finest “love” shows that VH1 had to offer. When I can’t watch them on the limited English-speaking channels down here, I simply download them. I need my fix. I know that my IQ must drop by at least a few good points when I watch these shows, but admit that when I watch “Out of Control Teens,” a sly smile creeps onto my face. Despite the times when I feel like I didn’t accomplish all of my goals, I realize that my life didn’t turn out so bad. Hey, it could have been worse! I could be on national TV in utter hysterics on my 4th attempt to look for my baby daddy.
- Celebrity Gossip – Sigh. Maybe it’s kinda sad that I know far more about what is happening in Hollywood than the rest of the world, who’s to say?. In many cases, I know who is married to whom (and how many times they’ve been married), and I am all too familiar with their ridiculous offspring’s names (Royal Reign, Rainbow Aurora, Ace Knut come to mind). Affairs, plastic surgery allegations, drug use, and opulent, extravagantly tacky splurges? *Raises hand* Perez Hilton has nothing on me. Yes, in theory, I could be filling my brain with more useful and relevant facts and information that could be put to some use. But the world is a complicated and at times scary and overwhelming place, and I see no harm or wrongdoing in wanting to take a temporary moment’s escape, no matter how superficial or silly it seems, to a lighter (and shallower) side of reality.
- Googling Exes and Ex-Friends. I’ve done it. The cliché goes that idle hands make the devil’s work. In my case, it’s idle hands, an overactive imagination that runs away with me, and a computer with internet access that do. I openly confess that there have been a few times when I’ve gotten curious and Google stalked someone who I had cut out of my life. Supposedly, the best revenge is living well, but in my case, I need a basis of comparison. But I’m not the only one who has done this (right?!?). Side note: The major downside to this guilty pleasure is that there are ways for these people who I Google to find out who has been looking at them and their profiles, which has indeed happened to me (whoops!).
Do I have other guilty pleasures? Of course, but they are numerous and not quite as interesting as the aforementioned ones (or too scandalous to name. After all, this *is* the internet, semi anonymity or not!).
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