So stop me if you’ve heard this one before…
As many of you know from reading my blog, I have been struggling with my weight and self image for years. It’s been an ugly, ongoing battle, not just with the scale, but with myself. It’s also been a battle that, I lament to say, has yet to be won. The fact is, I have to be honest- I have a BMI of nearly 43, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and triglycerides, and get ridiculously winded far too easily. To add insult to injury, I got mistaken for a pregnant lady on the bus last week. Again.
Despite my previous vows and efforts in the past to finally drop my excess weight, it has never worked for me long-term. It’s frustrating to try to work out when it feels like I am lugging around a backpack of about 100 lbs of extra weight in it. So over it. I need help.
I did a great deal of research, after consulting with different professionals, and took a brutally honest look at myself (inside and out) and the life that I am currently leading. In the end, though I would have had 100% coverage from my insurance company, I ultimately decided against undergoing gastric bypass surgery.
This was not an easy decision to come to. I thought about it (and thought about it, and thought about it some more) for weeks. And of course, it was also met with some strong opposition from people who I care about. But in the end, it was a decision that I had to make for myself; not because of anyone nor despite anyone.
How did I come to this decision? To start with, I read enough material to practically earn an honorary degree in bariatric surgery- The good, the bad, and the ugly. It wasn’t the actual surgical procedure and being cut open part that influenced me. It wasn’t the potential long and short term complications that could potentially arise. Nor was it the notion of how challenging post-op life would be for me in different ways. I simply don’t feel that I am ready to take such a drastic step. It’s just a gut feeling (pun intended).
But I still need help in finally getting control over my weight issues and health issues that have been a major cause of concern for me since I was a preteen. I haven’t given up on this, but until then, I guess it’s back to the drawing board…
… and some clever fat cat memes to lift my spirits.