I normally start out my entries with a sort of “introduction” or related tangent to warm the reader up to the main idea of my writing, but at least for now, this is not going to be the case, and I am just going to get straight to the point.
I find it incredibly disturbing how flawed our legal systems are. Red tape and bureaucracy are synonymous with inefficiency for a reason. And there is a reason, make no mistake. It’s morbidly fascinating and sadly curious how, at a very universal level, the more powerful a person, the more influence a department has, the greater the prestige and weight given by the position, the more fear that it can instill into the common worker ants, seems to be always, without fail, for some very illogical reason, inversely proportional to how out of touch, cold, omnipotent, removed, blind, and utterly ineffective they are.
I swear, it’s a really messed up joke. It’s not at all funny, depending which side of the table you’re on at least.
I’m pretty sure this observation is along the lines with the cliché that “power corrupts.” I cannot even start to express how deeply I concur with that.
As a society, we seem to lump all the “bad” people together in one large box, it’s easier that way. Easier equals more cost-efficient and less brain power used and faster. Addicts, criminals, the sick, the heretics, the crazy, the weak, the handicapped, there are a million classifications, and a million stories. But it’s very easy and hassle free for society to deem them as inferior, as a threat, as a liability, as a sole result of their own stupid and selfish choices. “Bad.” Guess who are the people at the top calling these shots and setting these rules? How should we classify them?
That’s a trick question. You’d think it’s be the ones proudly brandishing their “good” label. The educated, the powerful, the influential, the recognized, the holy, the strong, the flawless, the rich. The joke is on all of us. It seems to me that somewhere along the road at some time, a memo seriously went MIA or a message was lost in translation or a detail was innocently left out of the newsflash. They got it all wrong.
“I wanted only to try to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?”
Makes perfect logical sense. Live and let live, as the saying goes. The person to whom the above quotation is accredited was a poor man who was truly a victim of circumstance. He was a political prisoner for a great deal of his life, when he was not living in fear while on the lam. He was denied freedom of speech (you know how much we enlightened know-it-alls in the developed countries dislike that!). This man thought differently and made no secret of how he felt and was condemned for it, like so many of history’s heroes. You have to wonder to what extent his “crimes” and “wrongdoings” were a result of his own free will, and to what extent it was mainstreamed society that gave him no other choices in life and were responsible for what they had created. My dear Donatien, I understand. I mean, I really do.
Donatien was a human; therefore he was not completely good or bad. But he was a very flawed and misunderstood man. This makes his message and his story much more valuable to me. I find his words and ideas more credible than that of any character I’ve read about in any holy book or fairy tale. He had an undeniably divergent point of view that he could not and would not compromise. I can find a hero in someone like Donatien, because I could relate to him, I can identify myself and my struggles with him, despite that he was a man, despite from a land far, far away, and despite the nearly 250 years that separated the years of our births. A man like this I can read about and respect, even if I don’t agree with all his beliefs. That’s okay, it’s more than okay. My label of “good” or “bad” in his eyes would not have been determined by blind obedience and submission and careless compromise of my values. Why was someone like him not on top when he was being imprisoned and his country was chaotically and spectacularly falling apart?
I get you, Donatien.
To clarify further, Donatien was a real person who existed in recorded history. He was born and legally recognized and even baptized in a church with his full name, Donatien Alphonese François de Sade. The Marquis de Sade. You know, THE Marquis de Sade- Synonymous with the worst kind of sexual perversion, evil, the lowest of the low in the history of degenerates, the blasphemous heretic, and Public Enemy #1 of his time (and probably for some time after). A sick, sick man. A “bad” man.
Yes, you understand correctly. I can find more brutal honesty and truth and question this man’s ideas far less than any clean-cut and well-groomed, holy-rolling politician of the past, present, and future or any holy man. I believe in Donatien, even if I don’t personally appreciate or understand or agree with his works and ideas. Let’s be clear- I’m not a sadist, I don’t terrorize prostitutes, and I don’t blatantly desecrate the Church (or any organized “religion” for that matter). Physical pain is not my cup of tea (self inflicted or otherwise). But those are just details. There’s very little difference apart from that.
Sit there and take my words in for a moment, if you have to. I know I’ve probably taken this entry on a very abrupt and unpleasant detour from the main road, but if you don’t agree with what I’ve written, that’s fine. Disagreement is acceptable. Censorship is not. Being untrue to myself and modifying what I represent as my thoughts is even worse. But by consciously deciding to do this, I abdicate my hard-won “good” girl status. Tough call.